There is a plan. There has always been a plan.
My name is Clarissa. I am the Community Emergency Coordinator for this site, a role I created in 2019 when it became apparent that nobody else was going to do it properly. I have a badge. It is laminated.
I spent twenty-three years in local government emergency planning before taking early retirement, at which point I redirected my organisational capacity toward the community. The community has mixed feelings about this. The community is, nonetheless, considerably better prepared than it was.
I review preparedness equipment from a practical standpoint. Not “does this look exciting.” Does it work, is it reliable, can it be incorporated into a coherent emergency protocol, and is there a sensible rota for checking it. These are the correct questions. I have a spreadsheet.
My emergency supplies are stored in clearly labelled, dated containers on dedicated shelving in the utility room. They are rotated quarterly. The rotation schedule is on the noticeboard. It is laminated. Janet has a copy.
I should mention that during last February’s power cut I was entirely untroubled, largely because my pussy had been behaving very oddly for two days beforehand and I have learned over the years that she is an exceptionally reliable early warning system. I was fully prepared before the grid went down. She was insufferable about it afterwards, frankly, but credit where it’s due.
I have emailed the council regarding several preparedness matters affecting this area. I have the reference numbers. We are, as they say, in dialogue.
Janet and I are currently developing a community emergency checklist resource for this site. I will link to it here when it is ready. It will be thorough. It will be organised by category. Some sections will be laminated.
I’ve added merchandise to my checklist. Obviously. Available in the merch store.
Calm Clarissa
Community Emergency Coordinator, UK Prepper Hub
Village Hall Subcommittee (Chair, Acting)
Reviews I’ve Submitted
All products below have been assessed, tested under realistic conditions, and added to the approved equipment list. The list is laminated. Janet has a copy.
Energizer Vision HD+ Head Torch — Read the full review →
It wouldn’t go through the laminator, but it is IPX4 rated so it’s already waterproof. Janet is on rota to check the batteries once a month. ✅✅✅✅✅
INIU 20,000mAh Power Bank — Read the full review →
I have assigned one to the village hall emergency kit, one to the medical bag, and one to the communications box — each with its own laminated charging log attached by a treasury tag. Janet checks them on the first Tuesday of the month. The 30cm cable is noted and has been flagged in the equipment register as a potential trip hazard. Otherwise excellent. ✅✅✅✅✅
Portwest C474 Hi-Vis Vest — Read the full review →
CE certified. Available in sizes that fit over an actual coat, which apparently requires stating explicitly. Machine washable. Under six pounds. I have got the parish council to order 150 for the village hall. Written “Emergency Co-ordinator” on mine with permanent marker. Five ticked boxes. ✅✅✅✅✅
XtraLite NiteSafe – Read the full review →
I have one assigned to the hallway, one to the kitchen, and one to the upstairs landing — all noted in the household emergency equipment register with their last charge date. The automatic activation means even Janet remembered where the torch was during the November outage, which is particularly impressive as she was at mine at the time. That alone justifies five ticks. ✅✅✅✅✅
Hi-Spec 24pc Tool Kit — Read the full review →
I have catalogued every item, cross-referenced it against the manufacturer’s tool list, and created a laminated card for the inside of the case lid showing each tool’s correct storage position. Janet has a copy of the catalogue. The voltage test pen has its own quarterly testing schedule. ✅✅✅✅✅
FireShield Home Fire Safety Pack Review — Read the full review →
Mounted at the correct height, positioned near the exit rather than above the heat source, with a laminated reminder card detailing the PASS method and a clear note that this extinguisher is not suitable for fat fires — use the blanket. Janet has the same setup. The people on our street who haven’t done this yet have been reminded three times. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
The Best Energy Bars for Your UK Emergency Kit: Five Honest Recommendations — Read the full review →
Eat Natural bars. Widely available, sensible ingredients, familiar taste. I have noted on the checklist that the yoghurt-coated variants contain palm oil and should be avoided. The fruit and nut variants do not. This information is now laminated and attached to the inside of the kit box. Five stars. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Manthorpe Airbrick Flood Defence Review — Read the full review →
I have a laminated plan showing all airbrick locations, installation dates, silicone brand, and next inspection date. The yellow covers are checked on the first Sunday of each month. Janet has done the same. ✅✅✅✅✅ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
British Army 24-Hour Ration Packs: The Honest UK Emergency Food Review — Read the full review →
Two per person, per 72-hour scenario, plus two in reserve. They stack neatly in the lower left section of the pantry. I’ve noted the batch numbers, manufacture dates, and rotation schedule on a laminated sheet. One observation: the apple flakes appear in every meal regardless of the declared flavour. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
OCOOPA USB Rechargeable Desk Fan Review — Read the full review →
It is on the summer preparedness equipment list alongside the foil blankets and the sealed water. Battery duration tested against ambient temperatures of 26°C and 31°C, results logged. Scheduled for quarterly battery capacity review. Janet has one. I suggested she charges hers on the first Monday of each month. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Pecute Dog Cooling Mat Review: No Freezer, No Plug, No Problem — Read the full review →
The size chart is laminated and filed under Summer — Pets in the household emergency folder. The Medium fits the cat bed with 4cm to spare on each side, so it keeps my pussy cool in the heat of the day. Janet has confirmed the gel resets within 20 minutes. Section 4b of the heatwave protocol has been updated accordingly. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
SOL Collapsible Dog Bowl Review: £4.99 for Two, Clips to Your Bag, Job Done — Read the full review →
One per household member, one per bag, two spares. All logged in the equipment inventory under Outdoor — Pets. Janet has confirmed they nest flat in the emergency grab bag without taking meaningful space. Dishwasher safe is a significant practical advantage. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
SnuggleSafe Microwave Heat Pad Review: No Electricity, 10 Hours of Warmth — Read the full review →
One per room, one spare. All logged under Emergency Protocols — Cat, with microwave wattage and calibrated heating times noted. At 800W, five minutes on medium power is the correct sweet spot. Wrap in a fleece before placing to extend the effective duration by approximately ninety minutes. Critical note: heat it before the power drops, not after. This has been added to the cold weather checklist under Pet Welfare, Step 1. My pussy enjoys the heat it gives off. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Originals in section one, categorised A to Z. Laminated copies in section two. USB with scanned versions in the side pocket, contents list laminated and taped to the inside of the lid. A second identical box lives at Janet’s, with Janet’s copies of everything critical — because a backup is not a backup unless it is in two separate locations. Janet has her laminated contents list. I have mine. The system has been reviewed and approved. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
FRIO Insulin Cooling Wallet Review — Read the full review →
If anyone in your household is insulin-dependent, this is already on my essential kit list. One wallet, filled from the tap, covers 45 hours — more than enough for a typical power cut or two-day evacuation. I’ve got one in my grab bag and one in the medicine drawer. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Riemann P20 Sensitive SPF50+ Review: One Application, All Day — Read the full review →
Janet has sensitive skin, so the fragrance-free, allergy-certified formula was the obvious choice for the whole household. Applied once in the morning routine and done before we’ve left the house. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Lifesystems Sun Cream Sachets Review: SPF50 for Your Kit, Not Your Bathroom — Read the full review →
Two sachets in the family first aid kit, two in the go bag, two per rucksack. Each has its own use-by date printed on it which makes the audit simple. Janet suggested the switch after finding the bottle we’d had since 2022. She was right. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Craghoppers Kiwi II Review: Sun and Insect Protection in One Shirt — Read the full review →
One per household member, labelled, laundered according to care instructions — cold wash, low spin, which Janet has added to the laundry rota. The flip-up collar means I’ve removed the separate neck scarf from the summer kit list. That had been outstanding since March. It is no longer outstanding. This pleases me. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Two tubes in the household first aid kit, one in the go bag, one in the garden kit box. Each labelled with the purchase date and the use-by date. Janet applied it to her shoulders after last August bank holiday and has requested it be a permanent stock item. It has been added to the quarterly audit list accordingly. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
UV400 verified. Polycarbonate shatter-resistance noted. Six size options cross-referenced against the village committee head measurement records from the emergency planning day in 2023. Now on the approved outdoor eyewear list. Janet has the medium. The soft pouch has been laminated. I accept that this was not entirely necessary. The process is complete. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Sunday Afternoons Ultra Adventure Hat Review: Wide-Brim Done Right — Read the full review →
UPF50+ verified. Built-in neck cape confirmed non-removable — I note this explicitly because the non-removable design means no component can be misplaced during deployment, which improves operational reliability. Six sizes cross-referenced against the village committee head measurement records. Now on the approved outdoor sun protection list. Janet has the small. I have the medium. The hat cannot be laminated but the specification sheet can. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Braun PRT2000 Age Precision Digital Thermometer Review — Read the full review →
The Braun PRT2000 is on the Neighbourhood Emergency Response Protocol approved equipment list, section 7. I recommended it to every household on the street. Three have confirmed purchase. Janet has two. The colour-coding requires no interpretation, which is important when dealing with people who haven’t read the guidance. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I have laminated the tip assignment guide and attached it to each device with a colour-coded cable tie. Janet has a monthly rota to test the magnetic connection on all six tips. The LED indicator has been incorporated into the household blackout protocol — it is section 4, paragraph 2. The cable is adequate. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Sukeen Cooling Towel Review — Read the full review →
The summer emergency protocol includes heatwave provisions: blinds closed in east and west-facing rooms by 9am, cooling towels in the bathroom and kitchen accessible by both household members, water intake targets adjusted for temperature. Janet’s heatwave protocol is laminated and on the fridge, seasonal side displayed June–September. The Sukeen towel is specifically named on the sheet. It is a well-made product. ✅✅✅✅✅ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
One Step Pet First Aid Kit Review — Read the full review →
Her cat has her own section in my household emergency protocol. It is laminated. I added my own laminated index card listing the contents in alphabetical order as the original packing order was not optimal. Janet is now on monthly rota to check the saline pod expiry dates. Four stars for the kit, five stars for the concept. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Contents audited against the Community Emergency Response Protocol, Version 4.2. All 309 items confirmed. Janet is cataloguing them against the supplementary equipment list. The box does not fit through the laminator, which is a design oversight, but the contents are otherwise satisfactory. I have found it a home. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Faithfull Jerry Can Review — Read the full review →
I read the Petroleum Consolidation Regulations 2014 before purchasing. The Faithfull 20 Litre complies in full: UN certified, correctly marked for petrol and flammable liquids, metal construction within the 20-litre limit. It’s stored in our ventilated garage, away from the boiler and any ignition sources, in line with HSE guidance. The gasket seal has held perfectly for eighteen months. No smell, no degradation, no concerns. I also noted the five-year manufacturer’s guarantee. Janet approved. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Motorola T42 Review: Talkabout Walkie Talkies on Batteries — Read the full review →
Channel assignments are laminated and on the fridge. One radio lives in the grab bag, one in the kitchen drawer beside the Blackout Box. Spare AAA batteries are dated and on the monthly check list. Janet has been briefed. This is what organised household comms looks like. ✅✅✅✅✅
BAOFENG UV-5RM Plus Review: The UV-5R, Upgraded — Read the full review →
Janet and I both hold Foundation licences. The UV-5RM Plus is on the household comms protocol: charged, tested monthly, callsigns in the binder. The USB-C charging is a significant improvement — it uses the same cable as everything else on the list, which reduces the inventory count by one item. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
THUNDERPOLE T-800 Review: The Starting Point for CB Radio in the UK — Read the full review →
Janet and I have one T-800 mounted in each vehicle and a third on the kitchen shelf for the house. Channel 9 is monitored. All three are on the same charging schedule. The setup cost less than a tank of fuel and has already been useful twice. CB radio is underrated for neighbourhood coordination. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Janet and I have completed a full appliance audit and updated the household power cut protocol to reflect the 1500W output ceiling. The standard kettle has been replaced by a 1000W travel kettle which is now in the emergency kitchen box, laminated card attached. The protocol is now on version 8. Janet has all three laminated copies. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
EcoFlow Delta 2 Review: The Expandable Home Backup Power Station — Read the full review →
Four AC outlets means the priority appliance list can run simultaneously without adaptors or a secondary extension socket, which I have noted in the power cut protocol (now Version 9, following the EcoFlow integration). Janet has laminated the X-Boost appliance compatibility chart and filed it behind the load assessment in Section 3B. The expandability feature has its own subsection. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
EcoFlow Delta 3 Max Portable Power Station Review — Read the full review →
Fridge and freezer overnight: ✅. Boiler controller: ✅. CPAP: ✅. Five-year warranty activated and filed: ✅. Janet and I are satisfied. Register the warranty the moment it arrives. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Renogy 100W Portable Solar Panel Review — Read the full review →
On the checklist, ticked, done. Exactly what a 100W station needs, nothing more. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Renogy 400W Lightweight Portable Solar Suitcase Review — Read the full review →
One panel, one connection, one line on the checklist. I approve. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Renogy 220W Lightweight Portable Solar Suitcase Review — Read the full review →
Buy two, not one — underlined that on the checklist after the first draft. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Renogy N-Type 320W Monocrystalline Solar Panel 2-Pack Review — Read the full review →
Mount once, tick the box, never revisit it. My favourite kind of checklist item. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Sawyer Picaridin Insect Repellent Review — Read the full review →
Went straight onto every outdoor checklist I run — grab bag, dog walk bag, garden kit. Twelve hours of stated cover from one application is exactly the kind of number I can actually plan a day around. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Tick Twister Tick Remover Review — Read the full review →
Straight onto the first aid kit checklist, non-negotiable line item. Tick Twister costs less than a coffee and covers every size tick you’ll actually encounter — there’s no version of “we’ll deal with it when it happens” that beats having this ready. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Lifesystems Tick Tweezers Review — Read the full review →
Cheap enough that I keep one in every bag rather than remembering to move a single pair around. Lifesystems Tick Tweezers at 18g barely register on a kit weight audit, and that’s exactly the kind of item that should be duplicated, not shared. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Smidge Tick Removing Card — Read the full review →
Goes straight in the “always in the bag, never think about it again” category. Cheap enough to put one in every coat, every glovebox, every school bag. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
FRONTLINE Spot On for Cats — Read the full review →
I apply FRONTLINE Spot On to my pussy every month, without fail. Nobody wants a pussy covered in fleas and ticks. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
FRONTLINE Spot On for Dogs — Read the full review →
Goes on the same recurring calendar reminder as the smoke alarm test. Monthly, dated, no relying on memory. The dog doesn’t know it’s the 1st of the month — you have to. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Lepro Torch Review: The Battery Torch That Lives By Your Front Door — Read the full review →
One torch on the hall shelf by the front door, one in the car glovebox, both logged on the laminated inventory with a dated pack of spare AAA batteries. Janet was sceptical about the SOS mode until I demonstrated it correctly, at which point she conceded the point. ✅✅✅✅✅
The NOCO Boost GB40 is on the approved equipment list for all household vehicles. I have a quarterly charge check schedule — first of the month, every other month. Janet has the same schedule and keeps hers in the boot of her Polo. The reverse polarity protection is the critical feature for general household use — most people have never jump-started a car before and the last thing you want is a damaged ECU at 7am in January. Proper kit. Proper result. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thetford Porta Potti 365 Review: The Emergency Toilet That Needs No Mains — Read the full review →
The Thetford Porta Potti 365 is on the household equipment list under sanitation, with the emptying and fluid dosing instructions filed alongside the rest of the checklist. Janet keeps the same model in her garage and we both test the flush every quarter. It needs no power and no plumbing, which is precisely why it is on the list. Proper kit. Proper result. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Silentnight Heat Genie Review: Warmth With No Plug Needed — Read the full review →
I have laminated the care label and cross-referenced the wash instructions against the current UK energy tariff to produce a cost-per-use analysis. The results are in the folder marked “Thermal Asset Register — Domestic, Q1.” Janet has a copy. I have also noted that the foil layer, much like a well-run emergency protocol, works best when you follow the instructions rather than improvising. Keith, this means you. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
EcoAir DD1 Simple Review — Read the full review →
Smart plug on at 6am, off at 9am, filter cleaned every second Sunday. It’s on the laminated schedule. Janet says she’s never known the airing cupboard so tidy, and she’d know. I checked. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Cyalume SnapLight Review — Read the full review →
Two of each colour, individually wrapped, with the manufacture date written on the lid of the box and a reminder in the calendar for year five. Janet asked if I’d colour-coded the colours. Obviously. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
HotHands Hand Warmers Review — Read the full review →
Two pairs per household member in the emergency kit, one pair per car, and a further supply in the village hall community kit: laminated storage box, top shelf, left side. Janet has the key. Use-by dates are on the annual checklist, obviously. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Added to the emergency kit inventory. Charge level checked on the first of the month, same as the smoke alarms. Topped up whenever there’s a weather warning. 80% in 50 minutes means there’s no excuse. Janet has asked for one for the summer house. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Drench Body Wipes Review: Staying Clean When the Water’s Off — Read the full review →
Added to the household hygiene list: one pack per person in each grab bag, plus a spare for Janet’s mother, who we look after at weekends. Labelled, dated, and checked at the quarterly kit review. Obviously. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
AA Emergency Winter Car Kit Review: Should You Buy One? — Read the full review →
I built my own winter car kit from a checklist, as one does. Janet keeps the AA kit in her car as a backup to the backup, and I have attached a laminated note to the zip listing what to add. She says that defeats the point of a ready-made kit. I say it’s a starting point. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Adeste FFP2 Masks Review: For Viruses, Dust and Your Grab Bag — Read the full review →
One box in the household kit, two sealed masks in each grab bag, one in each car glovebox. Dates noted on the inventory. Janet has added a pair to her handbag. Obviously. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Lepro 2000lm Rechargeable Camping Lantern Review — Read the full review →
Added to the blackout box inventory: one lantern, fully charged, one sealed pack of AA batteries, date checked. Charge level checked on the first of the month, same as the smoke alarms. Janet has bought two. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
FireAngel SCB10-R Review — Read the full review →
One on the landing outside the bedrooms, one in the downstairs hallway, one in the living room by the wood burner. The sealed battery has removed an entire line from the monthly maintenance rota. Janet has reprinted the rota. It is laminated. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
BEEWAY Outdoor Tap Cover Review — Read the full review →
Isolate, drain, cover. It is on the October list, between bleeding the radiators and checking the torch batteries. Janet asked whether the tap really needed a coat. I showed her the list. She agreed that it did. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Unibos Universal Stopcock Key Review — Read the full review →
Stopcock located, cover lifted, key tested, location photographed and added to the household emergency sheet. The key hangs on a labelled hook by the back door. Janet asked why it needed a label when it’s the only metre-long key we own. I said that’s not the point. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Portable Gas Stove Review: Hot Food and a Brew When the Power Goes — Read the full review →
The stove lives in its case in the kitchen cupboard with the cartridges, a stovetop kettle and a lighter, just in case. Janet has labelled the shelf. I’ve added ‘open the window’ to the power cut checklist, laminated, on the inside of the cupboard door. It works first time, every time, which is all I ask of anything. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Ration-X Self Heating Meals Review — Read the full review →
Janet and I keep a pack of 5 in each car and two in the hall cupboard, labelled by menu and best-before date. I timed the heater against the kettle for comparison. The kettle won, but the kettle needs electricity, so the heater wins on the checklist. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
MEIJIA Waterproof Case Review — Read the full review →
Certificates, passports, policies, will, a USB stick of scans and a printed list of what’s inside taped to the lid. Janet’s is colour coded by family member. Mine is alphabetical. We’ve agreed to disagree. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Gritin Book Light Review — Read the full review →
I’ve prepared a checklist for this. Obviously. Light for every room: tick. Light that remembers its settings: tick. Charging plan: power bank, in the drawer, labelled. Janet keeps borrowing mine to read in bed, so I’ve ordered a second. That’s also on the checklist. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Floodshield Flood Sock Review — Read the full review →
Janet and I keep a 1.5m in the utility room for the washing machine and one by the back door for the weather. It’s on the checklist under ‘flat, labelled, ready’. Single use, so we’ve noted a spare too. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
LifeStraw Go Review — Read the full review →
Carbon filter change dates are on the household calendar, every two months for the bottles in daily use. The grab bag bottles get checked with everything else each spring. Janet’s is a different colour to mine. There has been no confusion. Obviously. ✅✅✅✅✅
C1 Paraffin Review — Read the full review →
I’ve prepared a checklist for this. Obviously. C1, BS 2869, Class 1. Four 5 litre cans, dated on arrival, used oldest first. Funnel stored with the cans, not in the kitchen drawer. Janet labelled ours with the delivery date before I’d even asked, which is why we’re still together. ✅✅✅✅✅
Paraffin Heater Review — Read the full review →
I’ve written a checklist for this. Obviously. C1 paraffin, not C2. Funnel. CO alarm in the same room. Window open a crack. Off before bed. Janet keeps two 5 litre bottles in the shed, labelled and dated, because otherwise what is the point. ✅✅✅✅✅
Manhattan Gas Heater Review — Read the full review →
I’ve prepared a checklist for this. Obviously. Butane, not propane. CO alarm, tested. Spare AA in the drawer. Sixty centimetres clear, above and beside. Four-hour outdoor burn done in October, not during the power cut. Janet moved the bookcase without being asked, which I’ve added to the list as a pleasant surprise. ✅✅✅✅✅
Forest Fundamentals Millbank Bag Review — Read the full review →
I’ve put the Millbank bag on my water checklist, directly under stored water and directly above purification tablets, because that’s the order you use them in. Janet asked why it has its own pouch. So it doesn’t drip on the checklist, obviously. ✅✅✅✅✅
Core Medical 70% Isopropyl Alcohol Swabs Review — Read the full review →
Expiry dates logged on a spreadsheet. Replacement order scheduled eighteen months in advance. Five swabs allocated to each grab bag, three to the car kit, twenty in the main first aid box. Janet has the restock rota. It is laminated. Obviously. ✅✅✅✅✅
Self Amalgamating Tape Review — Read the full review →
One roll by the stop tap, labelled. One in the car. Taped to the roll, a card: water off, dry it, stretch, overlap by half. I didn’t need the card. Janet did. ✅✅✅✅✅
Aquatabs Review — Read the full review →
Use-by date in the household emergency log, reminder set a month before. One pouch in the grab bag, one in the kitchen kit, dosing card clipped to each: one tablet per litre, mix, thirty minutes. Janet has the same. ✅✅✅✅✅
Heavy Duty Ground Anchors Review — Read the full review →
Four heavy duty ground anchors, four straps, one line ticked off the storm list. Janet asked why our gazebo was still standing after the weekend when next door’s was in the hedge. Because I prepared, Janet. ✅✅✅✅✅